7 Interview Questions to Weed Out Bullies and Meanies

by Dec 13, 2016

I recently picked up the book, The EQ Interview: Finding Employees with High Emotional Intelligence, by Adele B. Lynn. As you know, I like tangible, actionable, “tell me what I am supposed to do right now” types of books, and this one fits the bill.

Lynn defines emotional intelligence “as a person’s ability to manage herself as well as her relationships with others so that she can live her intentions” (p. 7).

She also points out that emotional intelligence is not the same as social skills. Social skills are about how we interact with the world, which is only one piece of emotional intelligence.

 

Lynn’s model for emotional intelligence includes five areas (and several components within each area):

  1. Self-awareness and self-control – fully understanding your own emotions and using that information to manage emotions productively
  2. Empathy – understanding the perspective of others
  3. Social expertness – building genuine relationships and bonds, and expressing care, concern and conflict in healthy ways
  4. Personal influence – positively leading and inspiring others as well as yourself
  5. Mastery of purpose and vision – being authentic and living out your intentions and values

We can all use regular tune ups on our emotional intelligence. Everyone needs reminders about healthy conflict, empathy, managing emotions and more. That’s why we have books like Emotional Intelligence 2.0 and StrengthsFinder 2.0. (I’m sensing a theme here.)

While you’re working on your own emotional intelligence, you might also be hiring in new people and hoping they are emotionally intelligent. So, I took the liberty of picking out a few great questions from Lynn’s book (and in some cases added a few follow up questions I thought were important).

 

Here are Interview Questions to Weed Out Bullies and Meanies

Ask these questions in your interviews to weed out bullies and meanies:

1. Describe a time when you knew you did or said something that caused a problem for a coworker, a customer, or an employee.

What problem did it cause? How did you know it caused a problem? What did you do? What did you learn?

2. How do you know when your words or behaviors have a negative impact on others?

How do you resolve that negative impact?

3. Describe some situations or circumstances that bring out your worst at work.

How do you behave during those times? What do you do about those times? What do you learn in those times?

4. Tell me about the time you were the most stressed out at work.

What caused the stress? How did you handle it? How did your stress affect others? What did you learn?

5. Tell me about a time when you deliberately planned the tone of a conversation.

How did you do that? Why did you do that in this particular situation? What result did it have? What did you learn? How often do you make plans for tone like that?

6. Tell me about someone who is resistant to you.

Why are they resistant? What have you tried to overcome that resistance? How have you adjusted your behavior to “win them over”? What have you learned?

7. Describe a time at work when others wanted to move forward on something you disagreed with or didn’t think would work.

Why did you disagree? What did you do? What did you learn?

 

Of course, Lynn’s book offers some guidance on what to look for in the answers.

Her book has over 250 questions for a variety of components, including, emotional expression, inner awareness, respectful listening, feeling the impact on others, collaboration, conflict resolution, and many more.

In the end, the one thing I suggest you look for, that Lynn’s book doesn’t necessarily mention, is whether the candidate learned from their mistakes. We’ve all engaged in ineffective conflict resolution, interrupting, talking without thinking first, and fighting aggressively to get our way.

But, it’s what we learned from those experiences that count.

Happy interviewing in 2017!

 

Sincerely,
Catherine

 

Let’s create a plan to build a positive workplace! | Invite Catherine to speak | Check out our webinar library

 

Do you know how much money chronically bad behavior costs your company? Spoiler alert – it’s a LOT higher than you want it to be. Download our data and worksheet to see how it’s costing your organization and what you can do to fix it.

 

About Catherine Mattice

Catherine Mattice, MA, SPHR, SHRM-SCP is President of consulting and training firm, Civility Partners, and has been successfully providing programs in workplace bullying and building positive workplaces since 2007. Her clients include Fortune 500’s, the military, several universities and hospitals, government agencies, small businesses and nonprofits. She has published in a variety of trade magazines and has appeared several times on NPR, FOX, NBC, and ABC as an expert, as well as in USA Today, Inc Magazine, Huffington Post, Entrepreneur Magazine, and more. Catherine is Past-President of the Association for Talent Development (ATD), San Diego Chapter and teaches at National University. In his book foreword, Ken Blanchard called her book, BACK OFF! Your Kick-Ass Guide to Ending Bullying at Work, “the most comprehensive and valuable handbook on the topic.” She recently released a second book entitled, SEEKING CIVILITY: How Leaders, Managers and HR Can Create a Workplace Free of Bullying.

How the Lack of Training Affects your Organization

The workforce is the heart of any thriving company. However, without proper training, employees may find themselves ill-equipped to meet the demands of their roles effectively.  Millennials think learning and growing are important reasons for joining a new company....

Why it’s Getting Harder for Some Women to Report Harassment

The United Nations Women found that about 1 in every 3 women has been sexually harassed at work. 3 out of 4 of them never report it to a manager, HR or anyone else. Imagine a world where every woman is treated with the respect and dignity she deserves. Unfortunately,...

How Companies Can Support Single Parents

Single parents face increased pressure as they balance full-time employment with the responsibility of caring for their children. This heightened pressure comes from various factors, such as economic challenges, limited support systems, and the need to provide for...

Why Your Reward System For Employees Can Fail Badly

Last week marked the celebration of Employee Appreciation Day! During this special time, many companies express their gratitude to their workforce, and one common way they do it is by giving out rewards.  Reward systems are a crucial aspect of employee motivation and...

Can a Wage Increase Make Employees More Productive?

In California, the upcoming minimum wage boost for fast food workers to $20 starting April 1st has ignited discussions about its potential influence on worker productivity.  Currently, the median hourly wage for fast-food workers in the U.S. is $13.43, while in...

Why Every Leader Needs to Worry About Toxic Work Culture

Employees quit their jobs for different reasons, and a major one is because of a toxic workplace environment. In fact, researchers discovered that between April and September 2021, toxic culture was the main reason why employees decided to leave their jobs. A toxic...

Civility Partners at 15 Years!

2024 marks an incredible milestone for us—our 15th-anniversary celebration! Yes, you read that right—15 years of making a positive impact on over 270 organizations served, thousands of employees, and millions of people worldwide! Thanks to the vision of our founder...

Driving Organizational Success Through Behavior Change

How can you make your workplace more exciting and successful?  Organizational success is not solely dependent on strategies or cutting-edge technologies. Instead, the key driver of success lies within the organization itself—specifically, within the collective...

How Much is Your Culture Costing You?

Creating a positive workplace culture isn't just a nice-to-have; it's a key player in the success of any business. It goes beyond token gestures like wellness days and promotions; it's fundamentally about how you treat your people, the support you extend to your team,...

Are you bamboozled by your company’s culture?

Your first day at a new job is a lot like embarking on an adventure. You step through the doors, eager and optimistic, your mind filled with expectations set by the promises of the company’s values and mission. For some, these principles are more than just words on a...